The Reaping – be a light in the darkness

Mary in the dark

Make no mistake: God is not mocked, for a person will reap only what he sows, because the one who sows for his flesh will reap corruption from the flesh, but the one who sows for the spirit will reap eternal life from the spirit.  Galatians 6:7-8


Adoration today October 3, 2017


I AM incomprehensible to you.  A Divine Paradox.  I want you totally detached from this world, attached totally to Me.  Yet in this detachment to this world, you are attached to Love Himself, which makes you attached to loving people.  I AM totally full and I AM totally empty.  The God who emptied Himself on the cross so the fullness of Life could be shown.

When you belong to the Divine Will and receive it fully, though still being yourself, you are one with the Creator.  You become fully you by receiving Me.  You live in harmony with Creation instead of being at odds with it.  You feel the Body of Christ.  I AM at once Joy, yet I show you the Man of Sorrows.  Our Lady understands fully.  The Presentation to Simeon was at once a joyful mystery while simultaneously being a sorrow foretelling of the sword that would pierce her heart.  I AM all things.

Creation groans against you because the evil one has deceived you into thinking you are equal to me.  Equality with me cannot be grasped.  You must empty yourself and then you will be glorified.

This morning you broke down and wept.  Yet you knew these were not your own feelings.  These are the feelings of the Man of Sorrows and Our Lady of Sorrows who, being in unity, weep for the created.  They weep over the rejection of Love Himself.

Do you not know where your flourishing comes from?

The people have forgotten.

They have removed Love, removed Me, and now the reaping is due.

They have asked for justice when all I want to give is Mercy.

So it is that in this time I will raise up Great Saints.  That is what I call you to.  DO NOT BE AFRAID.  Do not be insecure in this mission.  Have BOLD CONFIDENCE in ME.  This is a Divine Love Story.  I AM creating a Trinity of Hearts.  Sacred. Immaculate.  Beloved.

Your heart is restless until it rests here.

Velocity speeds up.  Things happen quicker.  Rest in my NOW.  Do the task in front of you.  Remember things are not what they seem.  Everything is connected.

Total Trust.

Pray for San Francisco.

Pray for Pisa.

Pray for Panama.

Pray for the souls in Las Vegas.

Pray without ceasing.

Be a part of restoration.



** Author’s note

I write what pops in my head as letters from God. I wrote this as a reflection of what I thought God was saying to me.I was taught to journal this way by my Spiritual Director. He said as long as it doesn’t stray from Scripture and the magisterium of the Church, I can write what pops in my head while I am praying.


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Dreams and Preparation

wedding homily

The Priest prepares my husband and I with His homily just before we make our vows. October 7, 2000

Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory. For the wedding day of the Lamb has come, his bride has made herself ready.  She was allowed to wear a bright, clean linen garment.”(The linen represents the righteous deeds of the holy ones.)Then the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who have been called to the wedding feast of the Lamb.” And he said to me, “These words are true; they come from God.” I fell at his feet to worship him. But he said to me, “Don’t! I am a fellow servant of yours and of your brothers who bear witness to Jesus. Worship God. Witness to Jesus is the spirit of prophecy.”

Revelation 19:7-10

I had a dream the night before last night.  In it I received a package in the mail.  I opened it and inside was a wedding dress.  I tried it on and it was beautiful and I remembered thinking that the wedding was soon.  Somehow I was also at my brothers house, but it wasn’t the townhouse he actually lives in, it was a giant mansion and he had servants and nannies for his two new adopted girls.  I went to the girls room to show them my dress.  All of the people in the house were fussing over the children and I just knew how loved and important those children are.

My mom and I went outside and I was still wearing the wedding dress.  There was snow all over the ground and my mom began telling me not to get the dress dirty before the wedding.  I started to look closely at the dress and I could see that it was actually cheaply sewn.  I went to look in a mirror that was outside the barn door and the right shoulder strap broke on the dress and the bottom of the dress was dirty just like my mom said to be careful of.   I remember thinking I either have to return this to get a better one, or I have to repair this.  And thinking it was a good thing that I knew a shop where the people in it could help me get it repaired before the wedding.

It was cold, dark and snowy outside.  Then I woke up.

When I woke up I knew I was not prepared.  Personally, I am working on getting a healing and prayer ministry up and running, but I know there is so much preparation.  We are doing a whole life confession, so we will not be bound by any unforgiveness when we may eventually minister to other people.  Forgiveness is the key to everything.  Whether it be in running a ministry, or being called home to the Lord, we cannot harbor unforgiveness, after all he forgave us everything.

But it’s more than that.  My friend Caitlynnegrace adeptly pointed out to me that “until we fuss over the children, none of us will be prepared.”

God talks to me ALL THE TIME about purity, and how we are corrupting the children. We have, as a society, essentially stopped trying to protect them and keep them innocent.

It’s almost like He is telling me that Lust is THE DEADLIEST of the 7 deadly sins, and not the least deadly.  The reason being is that it seems more innocuous and people think it’s about love, but it is actually what lets Satan in the door.  It is SEEMINGLY the least deadly, but results in the destruction of everything.  I know Aquinas would disagree because he thought it brought on shame quicker… but we are living in a world that’s not ashamed of anything.

Here are a few things I have read about and observed;

Adam and Eve ”knew they were naked” – and had brought sin in the world…

Noah – Ham slept with Naamah – curses Canaan…

Abraham sleeps with concubine – has Ismael – which leads us to Islam eventually…

With Moses his people can’t stop their debauchery while Moses is on Mount Sinai… they wonder around far longer than they need to…

David sleeps with Bathsheba and has her husband killed…

Recently I had gone to hear a speaker who spoke on the Physiology of Grace.  He said that people who pray have been scientifically shown in studies to have greater brain connections, have a protective coating on their brain, and then also have a smaller amygdala (I think that’s the part he said- and I really wish I could site the study he was using, I am going to try to contact him to get that.) This is the area that controls fight or flight and is the fear region of the brain.  People who pray… theirs is smaller… this means that they can stand up in the face of great fear where most people would flee or fight.  These people can face what’s coming head on, and are not controlled by fear.  Makes me think of Maximilian Kolbe.

Conversely, pornography had the exact opposite effect.  People who are addicted to pornography have less connections, have no protective coating, and have a large amygdala which would make them respond out of fear and sometimes more animalistic.

Que, today’s world.  The statistics on pornography are astounding.  We hand devices to our children where they can have instant access to it.  It is a multi-billion dollar industry.  It leads to sex trafficking, and rape, and all kinds of sin.  We see people acting extremely violent, like animals.

The sexual revolution ushered in contraceptives, which means people think they are safe having sex in any circumstance.  And as Humanae Vitae pointed out led to all those problems we have today.  Divorce, abortion etc….

I actually look at the violence in the streets today and wonder how many of them are  addicted to pornography?  At the very least, I wonder, how many of them are praying and having silence with God?

It’s like what started out as lust… just progressively got worse… until it’s so twisted we don’t even know what gender we are….confusion.  Confusion actually comes from the Father of Lies, and it’s harming our children.

And then, even in my Catholic circles, people who DO FOLLOW the faith… they excuse sexual sin WAY more easily…. and I understand this because many have come from leading impure lives to true conversion, and so they know, and I know, that conversion is possible.  And when we are convicted to change God does not condemn us.  But the question is, are we praying for purity?  Are we teaching our children purity?  Or do we say, “oh well, that is the least deadly sin” and keep silent.  Do we say one thing, like “wait until marriage” but secretly hand our children condoms “just in case” and thereby undermine the message that purity is something attainable?  When we think purity isn’t attainable for a human being, we need only look at St. Joseph to remind us it is.  But know too, if our loved ones do fall, we must love them, help them get back up, and continue to point them to truth.

Sometimes, especially with children, if you have taught the faith, and they aren’t listening, we have to let go, and let them make mistakes, we have to love them anyway, and nagging won’t change them.  But we must never ever stop praying for their purity.  And if you struggle with impurity take it to God.  Every time you want to log on to that website, or have that impure thought, offer it to God, and ask that he save 100 other souls that are struggling too.  You will find soon enough the devil will leave you alone about that issue when you start using your suffering to save other souls.

In a previous post, I talked about a prayer my friend Jansen, a convert and former evangelical pastor, taught us to pray for loved ones who are struggling with sin.  I am going to post that exact prayer here today;

“Lord, I ask that you send angels of sufficient number, power, authority and rank to (persons name) to fight back the demon off and away from their life, so that they are able to follow you.”  The other prayer was about the Holy Spirit.   “Lord, send your Holy Spirit to convict (persons name) so strongly that they stop what they are doing and repent of their sins, with the intentions of confessing them to their priest the next time they go to Reconciliation.”

My prayer for all of us today, is for us to return to purity.  Pray for purity.  Purity of body and purity of heart would make the world a lot better place.




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Trinity of Hearts

Trinity of Hearts

 “For God who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shone in our hearts to bring to light the knowledge of the glory of God on the face of [Jesus] Christ.” 2 Corinthians 4:6

In my prayer of late, I feel God speaking to me about living in the Divine Will.  I wrote this in my journal**;


The time has come for purification.  Wickedness will be purged.  The broken hearts of the faithful will be repaired with the thorns of suffering.  Purity and Love will be restored like a fragrant rose and each human heart that desires to receive will be aflame in the Divine Will.  3 hearts beating together.  A trinity of love.  Sacred.  Immaculate.  Beloved.


Then the image above appeared to me in my prayer.  I am sorry I cannot draw better because it absolutely does not do justice to what I saw.  In reflection upon the image, here is what I wrote down;

The bottom heart combines both the thorns of the Sacred Heart and the Roses of the Immaculate Heart.  The thorns go vertically to symbolize the broken heart of each human being, but sown together by the thorns of suffering just like Christ.  Christ’s thorns are horizontal because it matches His outstretched arms of love for us, that He took all of this on without sin.  He is God.  The Roses blooming from the Heart of the Beloved represent the repair made by Jesus through Mary who was the human example of unity with Divine Will and the example teaching us as Humans how to live in the Divine Will.  And though Jesus is fully human and fully God and sinless, and Mary is a sinless human, and we are not sinless, we can be restored to purity and love again.  One rose is white representing purity and one is red representing love.


I do have a friend who is a graphic artist.  Hopefully he can capture better what I saw.

In the coming days I will be posting more about the Intercessors of the Divine Will.

** Author’s note

I write what pops in my head as letters from God. I wrote this as a reflection of what I thought God was saying to me.I was taught to journal this way by my Spiritual Director. He said as long as it doesn’t stray from Scripture and the magisterium of the Church, I can write what pops in my head while I am praying.

From time to time I share some of my entries on my blog.





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Illumination of Conscience


 “A great purification will come upon the world preceded by an “Illumination of conscience” in which everyone will see themselves as God sees them.” Blessed Anna Maria Taigi (1769–1837)


I want to tell you all a story before I get into the reason for the title of this post.  Over the past several months my friends and I had noticed that there are four areas where Catholics and other Christians are poorly catechized.  These 4 areas are the Real Presence in the Eucharist, Confession, Mary the Mother of God, and Redemptive Suffering.  We each felt that one of these areas spoke greatly to us (all areas speak to all of us, but some of us felt called more to a specific one.)  We formed a group that we call the Intercessors of the Divine Will.  We each read a Gospel that we correlated with each topic.  For the Eucharist we assigned that person the Gospel of John.  For Confession we assigned the Gospel of Mark.  For Mary we assigned the Gospel of Matthew.  And for Redemptive Suffering we assigned the Gospel of Luke.  Because each of these Gospels has a symbol associated with them, we each adopted that symbol as our own.  You all know from my story of Veronica’s murder, how essential confession was to my change of heart, so I was assigned Confession and the Gospel of Mark, my symbol is the winged lion.

winged lion

The other ladies and men have also been assigned their Gospel with the corresponding symbols.

The Gospel of Luke – Redemptive Suffering is the Winged Ox;

winged ox


The Gospel of Matthew – Mary the Mother of God is the Winged Man or Angel;

winged man

The Gospel of John – The Eucharist is the Eagle;

John Eagle

Assigning these Gospels for each of us to read helped us to carve out our mission as Intercessors of the Divine Will.  We are running a series of retreats on these topics, and we pray together.  Our mission is to help spread the Divine Will on earth as it is in heaven, and to pray for Priests by name.  We pray for intercession on behalf of people who are suffering and need help.   Our Patron is Our Lady Healer of Families because we feel healing in the family is essential to the Divine Will being lived on earth, which will bring healing to us in a much larger way. We are currently in the process of seeking an imprimatur for the Devotion to Our Lady Healer of Families, and we will abide by whatever Holy Mother Church decides.

Why am I telling you all this?  First, it been a such a blessing to pray with the men and women who are part of this.  I eventually envision this being spread to other areas.  In trying to organize and get these small groups praying together (which has definitely taken some time) we have come across many wonderful people.   Recently I came across a man who is an evangelical convert.  We all prayed together for another man who was in need of help.  The evangelical convert prayed specifically for “God to send Angels in Number, Power, and Authority to protect this man.”  He then prayed for “Jesus to convict his heart with his own sins.”  He explained to us that conviction is not condemnation, and conviction — seeing how God sees you — how God sees your sin but still loves you beyond measure will call a persons heart to conversion.   Within a week the man we prayed for called me.  He said two things that struck me.  He said, “I felt protected”, and he said “I had an epiphany in my heart about my own part in turning away from God and that it could be the cause of some of my problems and how I need to turn back to him.”  He felt protected and we had called on angels.  He had an epiphany of his own soul, and we had asked for conviction of his soul.  I was AMAZED.  I don’t know why, because God is always good and Amazing, so it shouldn’t come as any surprise.

This man had an illumination of conscience.  He had it, I believe, directly because of our prayers because when we do what God asks, as part of the communion of Saints and His Mystical Body, God acts.  This got me thinking about the Catholic Prophecy of Illumination of Conscience. It was spoken about by Blessed Anna Marie Taigi, which is in the quote above.  But probably most famously at the Garabandal Spain apparitions.  In Garabandal it was called a warning.  It is a warning because if we are sinning greatly it becomes a warning call to repentance.  I actually believe it is a rescue because it rescues our souls from the peril they are in.

Anyone who reads the news today can see the world is in desperate need of repentance.  Repentance comes when we see our own soul as God sees it.  We see our sin, and it makes us want to stop sinning when we see how much God loves us.  For some, I imagine seeing the state they are in could come as quite a fright, but an Illumination of Conscience would be a mercy for them then, a chance to reconcile with God.  It would give one a chance to repent and see the God of Love who calls them.  This repentance brings forgiveness.  Forgiveness of ourselves and of others brings healing and purification.  Healing and purification brings the spread of the love of God.  The spread of the Love of God brings heaven on earth.

So today, I call on each of you to pray for your loved ones and for all human kind to be protected by angels.  And most especially to pray for our own hearts to be convicted of our sins and for God to convict the hearts of our loved ones and all of humanity.   I recommend Ignatius’ “Whole Life Confession” by Rev. William Watson to help you see for yourself.  Show us who we are.  Ask God for the illumination of conscience.  I believe it would bring mass conversion, and help to usher in an era of peace.

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At the Foot of the Cross

foot of the cross

Painting by Robert S Duncanson at Detroit Institute of Art

You will be consoled according to the greatness of your sorrow and affliction; the greater the suffering, the greater will be the reward.  
–St. Mary Magdalen de’Pazzi


This year has been a year of many trials for me and my family.  Sometimes when I am in the midst of suffering where all I can see is pain, I imagine myself standing at the foot of the cross. Staring at the pain of the whole world taken on by Christ. All my human eyes would have seen would have been pain and death. But God had a plan. Resurrection. The story didn’t end there. God is writing a better story with your life than you can ever possibly imagine. In the middle of your pain when you can’t see the other side, he whispers “trust”. His dreams for you really are bigger than your own because His is borne of true love and total forgiveness.

I was reminded of this the other day when I watched this video again.  If you are suffering. Know that God is right there with you.  You can let suffering make you bitter, or you can let suffering make you grateful.  The grateful heart is the path to holiness and Sainthood.

I have felt drawn lately to pray the chaplet of Our Lady of Sorrows.  There is actually a special seven beaded Rosary for this.  I am posting it here because it has brought me much consolation.  If you don’t have a Our Lady of Sorrows Rosary, you can use a regular Rosary, just stop after seven Hail Mary’s and follow the directions below.


Rosary of the Seven Sorrows of Mary

Begin with An Act of Contrition:

O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee,
and I detest all my sins, because I dread the loss of heaven, and the pains of hell;
but most of all because they offend Thee, my God,
Who are all good and deserving of all my love.
I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace,
to confess my sins, to do penance, and to amend my life.

The First Sorrow of Mary – The Prophecy of Simeon

Reading Luke 2:22-35.

When Mary and Joseph presented the infant Jesus in the temple forty days after his birth, Simeon received the Divine Child in his arms and praised God. He predicted that a “sword” (of sorrow) would pierce Mary’s soul.

The Second Sorrow -The Flight into Egypt

Reading: Matthew 2:13-15.

When King Herod ordered the death of all male children age two or younger, Mary and Joseph fled to Egypt with the infant Jesus. The journey was a dangerous one and comforts were none. Instead of asking her son for a miracle, she knew it was the will of God and they lived in Egypt for seven years – strangers in a foreign land.

The Third Sorrow -The Child Jesus Lost in the Temple

Reading: Luke 2: 41-50.

When Jesus was twelve years old, he went with his parents to Jerusalem for the Feast of Passover. After losing the child Jesus on the return journey, Mary and Joseph searched for Him with agonizing sorrow for three days, finding Him at last in the temple.

The Fourth Sorrow – Mary meets Jesus carrying the cross

Reading: Luke 23: 27-29.

As Jesus made His way to Calvary, condemned to crucifixion, he met His dear mother. He was bruised, derided, cursed and defiled and her sorrow was absolute as Jesus dragged His own cross up the hill of His crucifixion.

The Fifth Sorrow – Mary at the foot of the cross

Reading: John 19: 25-30.

Mary stood at the foot of the Cross near her dying Son unable to minister to him as He cried out “I thirst.” She heard Him promise heaven to a thief and forgive His enemies. Mary watched her Son die a shameful death after three hours of pain on the Cross. She was devastated with grief and pain. Truly her heart has been pierced with a sword.

The Sixth Sorrow -Mary receives the body of Jesus

Reading: Psalm 130.

Jesus was taken down from the cross and His body placed in Mary’s arms. The passion and death are over, but for His mother, grief continues. Just as in the days of Bethlehem, she held him close to her heart but now His flesh was torn to pieces, gaping wounds covered His body, and the blood completely disfigured His adorable countenance! Mary herself was transfixed with such a sword of sorrow that her relatives and friends feared she would die of grief then and there. All who looked at the Mother of God in her sorrow were
stricken with ardent love and compassion.

The Seventh Sorrow – Mary witnesses the burial of Jesus

Reading: Luke 23: 50-56.

Mary wrapped the body of Jesus in the Holy Shroud which covered His Bloody wounds. The body of Jesus was laid in the tomb. As she bid farewell to her Son, her heart suffered so much anguish and grief.


Recite Three Haily Marys in remembrance of the tears shed by Our Blessed Mother. These are said to obtain true sorrow for our sins.

V. Pray for us, O most sorrowful Virgin.
R. That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

Let us pray

Lord Jesus, we now implore, both for the present and for the hour of our death, the intercession of the most Blessed Virgin Mary, Thy Mother, whose holy soul was pierced at the time of Thy passion by a sword of grief. Grant us this favor, O Saviour of the world, Who liveth and reigneth with the Father and the Holy Ghost, forever and ever. Amen

Virgin Most SorrowfulPray for Us – Say 3 times.

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Harden not your hearts


Our Lady of Sorrows by Kathleen Carr

As has just been said: “Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion.” Hebrews 3:15


Beloved Child,
I am Our Lady of Sorrows.  My heart is Sorrowful.  My son’s heart is Sorrowful.
My Son wants everyone to receive him.  But in order to receive, you have to be empty of pride.  Many come to the table and demand.  They demand who they do not know without thought of the gift or the sacrifice.  This demand does not enable them to receive. They drink judgment on themselves and their hearts of stone.  Oh how Sorrowful this makes us.  And many of my Shepherds don’t lead.  They allow the flock to wallow in sin, never walking with people to true contrition and speaking of truth.  This makes my heart weep.
Haven’t you yet realized?
The will of the Father and the Human will intersect on the cross.  The top of the cross points to heaven.  On the horizontal the Human will outstretched from the heart to the arms.  Human will openly handed to God.  Totally empty in order to be filled.  Filled with LIFE.  The Divine will will reign on earth as it is in heaven when you embrace your cross and truly receive.  This is how you console our hearts.
My Immaculate Heart will triumph because the Father wills it.
Be contrite.  Be thankful.  Do not be afraid.  Receive what My Son gives you.
-the Immaculata

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My Five Wounds


Matthias Grunewald – Crucifixion panel

Behold the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world.  John 1:29



I took on the sins of the world.  My 5 wounds show this.  The world has fallen and sin and death are part of it because of the fall.

For every lash in my body when I was scourged, I felt your cancer and sickness.  All forms of physical illness that were unleashed because of the fall.  I feel your pain as you suffer.  I feel the pain of those abused at the hands of another.

When my head was crowned with thorns, I knew every impure thought, and prideful thought my people undergo.  I even know the mental illness.

When my hands were pierced, I knew every time you grabbed that drug, stole that item, clicked that link to pornography, abused that person.  Nailing yourself down, enslaved to sin.

When my feet were nailed I knew every sinful place you walked to, every bed of adultery, every brothel house, every place of greed that nails you down to sin.

When my heart was pierced, I knew every hard heart that rejects my love and refuses to repent.  Causing wars and rumors of wars.

Look at my 5 wounds and know I KNOW.



Yet in all of these things I know, look at my 5 wounds and KNOW MY LOVE.

My love knows you completely and loves you completely.

My love can break you free of the sin that nails you down.  My love can heal the sickness sin let in the world.

Look at my 5 wounds and receive not condemnation, but grace, humility, charity, faith, hope and love.

These 5 wounds will set you free.  Abandon yourself to me.

– Your Divine Spouse ***


***Author’s note:

I write what pops in my head as letters from God.
I wrote this as a reflection of what I thought God was saying to me.
I was taught to journal this way by my Spiritual Director.  He said as long as it doesn’t stray from Scripture and the magisterium of the Church, I can write what pops in my head while I am praying.  This actually popped in my head while praying the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary.
From time to time I share some of my entries on my blog.


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